Personal Responsibility - You're Doing It Wrong!

People these days still don't get it.  Some weirdos are still singing that same old tired tune, "personal responsibility."

Well, they fail to realize that everything is someone else's fault.  And if you can't find a person to blame, then you default to technology.  Duh.

Need examples?  Ok, how about this one:

Lost Couple Can't Blame GPS, Air Force Says

Come on!  You mean to tell me that plunging down a road with a foot and a half of snow is not the GPS's fault?  What sane, rational person would do that without the GPS telling them to do so!  Get with the times, Air Force, of course it was the GPS's fault.

Example 2: the television remote control.  Before remotes, no fat people.  After, we are all blowing up!  Technology's fault, case closed.

Example 3:

Woman Found in Stolen Van Had Blood Alcohol Level of .708

There are multiple levels of "not-my-fault"-ness in this story.  If the maker of her drink of choice had had a lower alcohol content in said beverage, she wouldn't have been so drunk.  Also, if the owner of the van had been guarding it, she wouldn't have had the opportunity to steal it.  See how this works now?

Still not getting it?  Let's try one more:

Texas Assistant Principal Charged With Soliciting Sex From Students

This concerned administrator was not trying to just get into some girly's pants, he was offering extracurricular opportunities to practically apply the lessons taught in sex education class.  After all, putting a condom on a banana is barely realistic, right?  So, Ass. Principal McKinney shouldn't be blamed for the school district's failure to implement proper teaching methods.  Sheesh!

Alright.  Now that you understand the modern "its-not-my-fault" principle, go forth and apply it liberally to everything you do... or wanted to do but restrained yourself because you were practicing "personal responsibility."  Fool.

Comments

[Brian]

.708 yowza! You would think that by about .40 or so, she'd be physically unable to continue drinking because of the inability to coordinate the necessary body parts to put a glass or can anywhere near your mouth. But, that leads me to another angle she can take: she can sue the makers of what she was drinking because it did not make her pass out at .40, .50, .60. or even .70. Therefore, she became a danger.

By the way, .708 = 1/141.2.